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Her Last Death: A Memoir, by Susanna Sonnenberg
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Her Last Death begins as the phone rings early one morning in the Montana house where Susanna Sonnenberg lives with her husband and two young sons. Her aunt is calling to tell Susanna her mother is in a coma after a car accident. She might not live. Any daughter would rush the thousands of miles to her mother's bedside. But Susanna cannot bring herself to go. Her courageous memoir explains why.
Glamorous, charismatic and a compulsive liar, Susanna's mother seduced everyone who entered her orbit. With outrageous behavior and judgment tinged by drug use, she taught her child the art of sex and the benefits of lying. Susanna struggled to break out of this compelling world, determined, as many daughters are, not to become her mother.
Sonnenberg mines tender and startling memories as she writes of her fierce resolve to forge her independence, to become a woman capable of trust and to be a good mother to her own children. Her Last Death is riveting, disarming and searingly beautiful.
- Sales Rank: #580384 in eBooks
- Published on: 2008-01-01
- Released on: 2008-01-01
- Format: Kindle eBook
Amazon.com Review
Susanna's mother gave her a copy of Penthouse when she was a ten-year-old, cocaine when she was 12, and seduced her boyfriend at 14. Sonnenberg recounts "the true calamity of being daughter to this mother." The glory of this memoir is that the author survived her traumatic childhood and somehow navigated her way to a deftly written book capturing her dismantled youth. The daughter of a glamorous, falling-down addict of a mother and a gifted, self-absorbed father, Sonnenberg never falls into the trap of attempting to analyze two people never meant to be parents. Instead, we are allowed to feel the strange and powerful familial currencies running between mother and daughter through the keenly observed writing of Sonnenberg. The writing is razor-sharp and raw, a significant feat considering the untethered early years of this immensely talented writer. --Molly Jay
From Publishers Weekly
Sonnenberg's curse is her beautiful self-centered and crazy mother, who lies continually, does drugs and navigates through the world with sex as her sole point of reference. Her father is cold and distant. Add in abundant family money, and you have the story of a young girl who grows up in a world of privilege, abuse and despicable behavior all around. Readers get a good dose of drug use, foul language, manipulative behaviors, an accounting of Sonnenberg's affair with her high school English teacher and one chapter titled Sex with Everybody. The freelance writer's story is titillating, and her writing is strong and clear, though the power is diluted when she blurs the lines of nonfiction: I have conflated or changed some events and dialogue, and created occasional composites. Readers not bothered by the conceit will likely follow along through the outrageous and nasty operational tactics of Sonnenberg's mother until the story line leads to her redemption. (Jan.)
Copyright � Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.
Review
"Her Last Death is an emotional thriller. It is a manual for men and smart, searching individuals of any age or economic levels. For most of the book it is a disturbing story, yet at the end you might feel like cheering. It is a beautiful, beautiful book and I plan to give it to my nearest and dearest."
-- Frank McCourt, author of Angela's Ashes and Teacher Man
Most helpful customer reviews
6 of 6 people found the following review helpful.
I was thoroughly disapointed when I came to end only because I wanted more!
By Barbara S. Reeves
It's my opinion that a good memoir should be half-art and half-psychotherapy. It should be sad at times and funny at others and mine all the motions in between. "Her Last Death" by Susanna Sonnenberg does just that. It's about the author's unconventional relationship with her drug-addicted, eccentric mother, who would rather be her daughter's friend, but is ultimately neither. She's a compulsively lying, shoplifting, scandalous, attention-seeking, spoiled-rich monstrosity instead. But with all her drug use, it would be impossible to be a good mother. The two really can't co-exist. If I could defend the mother's indefensible behavior, I would say that she's not a bad person who needs to be good, but a sick person who needs to get well. It's hard to separate the inexplicable behavior of the addict from the person her or she truly is. All we see is the behavior. I felt Sonnenberg's intense pain, humiliation, and conflicted love for her mother, but as a recovering addict, I also felt the mother's hurt. No one does that to themselves without feeling some degree of strong, psychic agony.
I can't say that I didn't feel much disgust as I read this story, for both mother and daughter, but that's proof of how well Sonnenberg writes honestly about her life. She definitely wasn't trying to paint a pretty picture, and it didn't seem contrived and pretentious like some memoirs I've read. She just put it all out there to let us be the judge. Every twenty pages or so I had to turn the book over and look at her picture on the back, trying to match the details of her life to her face, as if it should all be plain to see in her eyes.
I was thoroughly disappointed when I came to the end only because I wanted more. I wanted things to be neatly tied up at the end. But "Her Last Death" is about life and not about things that are neatly tied up at the end.
David Allan Reeves
Author of "Running Away From Me"
1 of 1 people found the following review helpful.
A Portrait of Abuse
By Brenna Reynolds
I've read quite a few reviews, both positive and critical, of this book. Both have valid points. In the critical reviews, it was argued that this book isn't even a real memoir because the names and possibly events had been changed. Another argument was that Suzanna wasn't really abused.
First off, if the memoir is true, then yes, Suzanna was definitely abused emotionally and physically. Daphne certainly exhibited behaviors of an addict, which provides toxic environment for children. But underneath the addictions, I believe that she has some form of mental illness - most likely borderline personality disorder. Daphne is/was a ticking time bomb of verbal abuse and physical abuse. Honestly, giving your daughter cocaine? How is that not abuse? Calling your daughter an "ungrateful ****?" Definitely emotional abuse. You don't just get over your mom pulling that kind of crap on you.
I hope Suzanna has found a good therapist to help her deal with the trauma of such an ill woman.
The book was slow in places, but not a bad read. It just jumped around a little more than I would have liked.
1 of 1 people found the following review helpful.
Beautiful, talented writing
By Abigail D. Kelly
I read this book primarily to observe the organization and writing style as I begin writing my own book. In my opinion, Susanna does an excellent job of guiding the reader through a chaotic life. It is easy to follow the progression of time and the emotional tension. She artfully shows the reader the dichotomous relationship she had with her mother - one of awe, love and longing, and at the same time one of hatred, frustration and hurt.
Personally, I think Sonnenburg draws the story out a little too long, as many of the incidents evoke very similar feelings within the reader. After a while, it is aggravating, like scratching the same itch for way to long.
Overall, it is a good book, very engaging.
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